The first thing I have to say is a big happy belated birthday to Latrina! This message is seriously overdue, her birthday was a few days back on a lovely Sunday. Sorry Trina about the timing! May you have a great year ahead. Oh, and this is another super late message but she got engaged to her fiance, Chris, around two weeks ago. All the happiness to you both! It’s not easy to find a soulmate that complements and completes you in the world, and some people wait a lifetime for that to happen. Hereby I’m dedicating a song by Leona Lewis, titled A Moment Like This:
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
It is really an honour for me to know Latrina – I realized that we’ve both been through a lot in life, survived depression and all, and we’ve found each other to have similar insights to life. Insights are things that are unique to each person, and I couldn’t be any happier to found someone whose thoughts echos mine, whose words reflect what I have in my mind. When I read her entries, I can feel as if she took the words out of my mouth – breathtaking, that’s for sure, and more importantly, the sincerity behind her entries. The struggle she faced, the emotional turmoil she once experienced, all written in words, like poem, like art. It’s not that kind of writing you stumble upon everyday.
I didn’t get you a birthday present, but I hope this cute little teddy bear will make your day.
Latrina, Happy Birthday!
Updates of my life
My sleeping cycle is completely botched – I find myself sleeping 2~3 hours every night and feeling incredibly tired in the afternoon, taking naps up to 4 hours in length. This is totally not the way I’m going to prepare myself for the exams – I’ve got to ditch this really bad habit as soon as possible. My first paper is in a week’s time, and I can feel the queasiness creeping up and inside me as I rush through my revision schedule.
Today I was sitting beside Cheryl during tutorial and we were talking about confrontations among people. I sheepishly confessed that I’m not very good with confrontations – in fact, I feel very depressed and fearful if someone ever gets angry with me, even if I didn’t do anything wrong at the first place. I couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt and shame when I realized that not everyone around me is happy, and that I could have done something to diffuse the tense situation. I hate confrontations – regardless of whether is it between people or other person and me. I’m so gullible and exploitable, but I just couldn’t help it.
I was revising my psychology chapters the other day and read about the term learned helplessness. Basically, the researched electrically shocked dogs when they’re strapped down, but when they gave the dogs the chance of escape a shock when they’re unstrapped, they won’t move – they’d rather get zapped instead. The same theory applies to people who’re depressed – they’ve been through so much failed relationships and other miserable events in life that they don’t hold much hope of escaping from their current situation. The human learned helplessness.
A sunny side of my life is that I fell in love with Leona Lewis (explains why I dedicated Trina Leona’s version instead of Kelly Clarkson’s version). I’ve been repeatedly watching her audition clips on YouTube, and my favourites have got to be Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word and Summertime. Not to mention the final songs, A Moment Like This and All By Myself. I recently got my hands on her Spirit: The Deluxe Edition album, and I couldn’t stop listening to I Will Be – it’s such a powerful song.
I might not be updating or replying your comments in the next few weeks. My last paper is on the 30th of April, around 3 weeks away. Wish me luck!
Hey Teddy, wishing you all the best in your exams :)
Confrontations are unavoidable at times. But they do help us learn to be a better person.
Check out Michelle’s latest blog post » My Favourite Month
Thanks for the wishes! Confrontations are unavoidable – nobody is made the same and there will definitely be times when there is a conflict of interest, ideas or opinions. What scares me is that people bring all the emotion out when such clashes happen, dragging in people who are probably unrelated and picking old scabs. But well, it teaches me a lot on the importance of anger management, heh.
How’s your exams preparations coming? You should seriously ditch the
“night owl” habits. I tend to see you tweeting at wee hours of dawn. How about setting an alarm at midnight? When it rings, you go to bed, an extra tweet after midnight will gain you a “It’s time for bed.” tweet from Dayna. :P
Nah, I’m just kidding. Good luck for your exams, I’m sure you’ll do well. :)
Check out Dayna’s latest blog post » Vote for me at Best WordPress Design Awards
I will be trying very hard to ditch that habit by the weekend, heheh. Night owl habits are not good, they’re taking a toll on me but I just couldn’t pull myself away. Pretty insane.
Thanks for the best wishes!
EEP! *blushes* I absolutely adore you, Teddy!! Thank you so much, for the cute teddy, for the beautiful song dedication, your congratulations, birthday wishes and all the beautiful things you said. :) So very sweet of you, in deed.
It’s true. Some people do wait a life time. I consider myself very fortunate to have found love so early in life who is also my best friend. That song was beautiful, you are too amazing.
I cherish our new found friendship! For one person to come across another that has similar life stories and the same outlook on life.. is quite difficult! And so our little run-in is quite extraordinary. :) You are such a beautiful person and I AM very honored to know YOU!
It’s a remarkable feeling that I get when you, or any one, opens up and shares their stories with me on my blog. It’s amazing. It’s difficult for one to open up, it’s taken me YEARS to accumulate the courage to do so and I love that you and a few others are willing to do the same. :) It’s therapeutic, it really is. And I look forward to your comments, they are always so heart felt, so real. So honest. I adore you!! To know that we have dealt with similar tragedies & have over come them is.. comforting. It makes the whole ‘opening up’ thing much easier, so thank you. :)
**
Confrontations, eek. I’m no good with them either. I really just try to avoid them at all cost. I don’t like to get angry with any one and I certainly don’t like them to get angry back. I hate to hurt people’s feelings so I think hard before I open my mouth most of the time.. I hate it, because I sometimes don’t say all that I would like to, sometimes I just don’t say anything at all..
I have not been in too many confrontations in the past few years, thank goodness. Although, I have seen many of other people. I wish I could have jumped in and stopped it, or at least addressed the situation in a better way. But people tend to get fussy when others jump in to their problems, so I try to avoid that as well. :| It sucks seeing others hurting or unhappy, I feel guilty.. thinking that I could have done something to help. But what can you do, y’know.
“Learned helplessness”.. profound! (I absolutely love Psychology btw) Most people have experienced this, I bet. Even me. It’s tough when life continues to throw hardships your way.. most people seem give up. It’s sad and it’s difficult to come out of.. but it’s possible with a little determination and a just glimmer of hope.
I am so sorry to hear you are so swamped with school work. You must get your sleeping on track! It will certainly help keep you awake during the day and keep your mind focused on your work. :) Good luck and do sleep well!
Check out Latrina’s latest blog post » Hidden obscurities.
Wow, that’s a very long comment, Latrina! Thank you so much for taking the time type everything out. When I read that people leave long comments, it worries me a little because I always imagined the possibility of hitting a back or reload button which will wipe out all the stuff. I’ve done it too many times and tried to even use Ctrl+Z to salvage (which of course, doesn’t work at all). Haha!
I’m very glad to know that you’ve found the love of your life – congratulations to you both! I couldn’t say how happy I am to know that you’re engaged around a month ago. It’s always nice to know that people have finally found someone they believe can spend the rest of the life with, someone they believe will complete themselves. Awww!
Actually, I have no idea how you found my site. I’m very surprised at your comments because first-time visitors don’t leave long comments like you – they usually say hi-nice-site-bye and then wait for me to take further actions (like drop by their blog). I’m really, realy honoured that you give a lot of thought and made a conscious effort in writing comments – they’re very encouraging and heartening to read. They brighten up my day. Thank you!
I hate to hurt people’s feelings too – I’ve been through all the emotional pain of being avoided, hated and utilized that I don’t think people deserve to go through what I had done. I try to diffuse the situation, but usually confrontations will escalate into some big hoohaa, completely out of hand.
How can people get fussy when you try to help? It’s absurd. Instead, they should actually thank you for trying to help – it’s so hard to find true friends that are genuinely concerned for each other nowadays, and they should appreciate your help.
I’m taking psychology this semester and I’m totally in love with it too! Although it’s not easy (we have gazillion theories and experiments to know as well as the back of our hands), the real world application is just too true.
p/s: Congratulations for your new photoblog! I can’t wait to see your photos in high resolution. You’ve been displaying really nice photos on your blog sidebar, but I couldn’t see them in a larger resolution. Now I can admire your photos with awe, yay!
My long comments amaze me even, haha. I’m always showing Chris our lengthy comments. Especially when they are back to back like your recent posts. I don’t normally leave such lengthy comments so you should feel special! I’m sure it’s because when I read your blog, it sparks a lot of thought.. and plus, I’m a rambler so. :)
Oh. Don’t get me started on the whole losing-comments-thing, it has happened to me soo many times! I now normally copy-and-paste my lengthy comments just in case. hehe
I think some people just don’t like others to get into their business so they get all fussy when you try to help. Luckily, I don’t know many people like that.. but it is very disappointing when you feel like you could lend a hand or some advice but the recipient would rather you not. :|
Oh man, my Psychology class (I took two actually) did require a lot of work, reading, studying, etc. But I enjoyed it so much! I still have my class book and even read it sometimes, lol. I’m weird. :) As for all the theories and experiments to know.. I’m sure I have completely forgotten them all by now, haha. A very interesting class, none the less!
And thank youuu. I can’t believe you liked my little snapshots on my sidebar. I feel bad ’cause I rarely ever updated it! haha, I get too lazy sometimes. It’s a lot of work keeping up a website.. with a blog, library, snapshots, and now a photoblog! But I’m going to stick with the photoblog, with out a doubt. It’s so much fun! I am a very nostalgic person so being able to look back at this virtual photo album type thing.. is pretty cool. :) I’m glad you liked it! Now this means it’s your turn to share more photos! :D
Check out Latrina’s latest blog post » Introducing photoblog!
Hi Teddy, work hard for your exams, but reduce your midnight oils ok?
Must really take care, especially in this period of intermittent rains.
Gambate!
*Your blog is really nice! So sweet of you too!
Thank you! The intermitten rains are giving me a huge headache because my laundry simply refuses to dry, hah! I’m actually kind of envious of you because you don’t have to sit for exams, heh.
Terry ,
Try exercise 3 -4 hours before you go to sleep. Walking outside – looking at people ,nature, some interesting thing gets my mind off the daily routine – is my favorite, especially now with spring coming. I think an afternoon nap is great ! I wake up feeling better than before.
Best wishes for your exams and papers ! You’ve done well before ; you will do well this time ! Peace ! Bob
Thanks for the recommendation! I will take short breaks in between my study sessions to make sure that my eyes are getting enough rest, and to refresh my brain as well. Too bad we don’t have seasons over here!
I heard that it’s finally getting warmer in Boston. I hope everything is going well for you. Thanks for the best wishes!
hey Teddy,
I know what you mean about that whole confrontation thing. Sometimes I just couldnt help being frozen especially when I know what’s coming(bad consequences). But it’s the other way around when I know where I stand, or whether I am not at fault. I can talk, or argue with that person without no fear (except if he’s a stranger and he looks like someone who’d kill)
but sometimes I wish I could zip my mouth a bit cause I think I talk too much, and I always say the wrong things
Check out Aisyah’s latest blog post » My mom told me that I’ve gotten fat
Being caught in a confrontation feels like a train running across your whole body. It’s like being caught in between a mouth fight, and sometimes, to make things worse, arguing parties will ask you to pick sides and berate you if you choose to sit on the fence. I always hated that kind of situation because I don’t want to side anyone of them for fear of ruining their friendship (and mine as well). It’s sad that people have to bring conflicts to the big stage to justify the fight/argument.
When I’m in a confrontation with a stranger, I wouldn’t budge if I’m not wrong. But when it comes to friend, the whole moral obligation thing, the friendship stuff start to weigh down on me.
There’s nothing wrong about talking too much, Aisyah. You think a lot before talking, so that shouldn’t be a problem at all :)
Best of luck for your exams!! I know the pain of that time… you’re so sweet to be giving your birthday wishes to your friend!! It’s always nice to see that people still care greatly for each other :)
It’s the naps that kills your night if you’re trying to sleep at night… but I hope your pattern will be back to normal soon!
Check out Destiny’s latest blog post » PJ: HTC Touch Pro
Thanks! Birthdays are importance milestones of a person’s life, so yeap, I’ll be more than happy to give my birthday wishes to the birthday boy/girl.
Nap definitely kills the night sleep for me! It becomes a vicious cycle – I don’t get enough sleep at night, so I tend to oversleep during nap time (sometimes up to 6 hours). I sleep so much during naptime that it becomes the real sleeping time and shortens the night time sleep into a mere nap (like 2 hours every night?). So yep, I’ll have to break the cycle asap!