Hello there. I am Terry and I am a full-time undergraduate based in Singapore. I take photos, write a blog and design websites.

And no, I'm not a teddy bear.

Some people wait a lifetime

Happy Birthday, Latrina!

The first thing I have to say is a big happy belated birthday to Latrina! This message is seriously overdue, her birthday was a few days back on a lovely Sunday. Sorry Trina about the timing! May you have a great year ahead. Oh, and this is another super late message but she got engaged to her fiance, Chris, around two weeks ago. All the happiness to you both! It’s not easy to find a soulmate that complements and completes you in the world, and some people wait a lifetime for that to happen. Hereby I’m dedicating a song by Leona Lewis, titled A Moment Like This:

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It is really an honour for me to know Latrina – I realized that we’ve both been through a lot in life, survived depression and all, and we’ve found each other to have similar insights to life. Insights are things that are unique to each person, and I couldn’t be any happier to found someone whose thoughts echos mine, whose words reflect what I have in my mind. When I read her entries, I can feel as if she took the words out of my mouth – breathtaking, that’s for sure, and more importantly, the sincerity behind her entries. The struggle she faced, the emotional turmoil she once experienced, all written in words, like poem, like art. It’s not that kind of writing you stumble upon everyday.

I didn’t get you a birthday present, but I hope this cute little teddy bear will make your day.

Latrina, Happy Birthday!

Latrina, Happy Birthday!

Updates of my life

My sleeping cycle is completely botched – I find myself sleeping 2~3 hours every night and feeling incredibly tired in the afternoon, taking naps up to 4 hours in length. This is totally not the way I’m going to prepare myself for the exams – I’ve got to ditch this really bad habit as soon as possible. My first paper is in a week’s time, and I can feel the queasiness creeping up and inside me as I rush through my revision schedule.

Today I was sitting beside Cheryl during tutorial and we were talking about confrontations among people. I sheepishly confessed that I’m not very good with confrontations – in fact, I feel very depressed and fearful if someone ever gets angry with me, even if I didn’t do anything wrong at the first place. I couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt and shame when I realized that not everyone around me is happy, and that I could have done something to diffuse the tense situation. I hate confrontations – regardless of whether is it between people or other person and me. I’m so gullible and exploitable, but I just couldn’t help it.

I was revising my psychology chapters the other day and read about the term learned helplessness. Basically, the researched electrically shocked dogs when they’re strapped down, but when they gave the dogs the chance of escape a shock when they’re unstrapped, they won’t move – they’d rather get zapped instead. The same theory applies to people who’re depressed – they’ve been through so much failed relationships and other miserable events in life that they don’t hold much hope of escaping from their current situation. The human learned helplessness.

A sunny side of my life is that I fell in love with Leona Lewis (explains why I dedicated Trina Leona’s version instead of Kelly Clarkson’s version). I’ve been repeatedly watching her audition clips on YouTube, and my favourites have got to be Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word and Summertime. Not to mention the final songs, A Moment Like This and All By Myself. I recently got my hands on her Spirit: The Deluxe Edition album, and I couldn’t stop listening to I Will Be – it’s such a powerful song.

I might not be updating or replying your comments in the next few weeks. My last paper is on the 30th of April, around 3 weeks away. Wish me luck!

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