Get well soon, grandma! The photo was taken during Christmas at The Gardens Midvalley, when my grandparents came to live with us for a week or so.
I tweeted about it today morning (thanks @nanyate, @RustlingRagazza, @amourchaleur and @noktahhitam for your concern). I learned that my grandma was admitted into hospital after experiencing palpitations in the night, general lethargy and bad appetite. The doctor recommended that she stay at least a night so that they can figure out what had gone wrong with her body, and it turned out to be a case of hyperthyroidism. And even a more shocking discovery is that she lost weight rapidly, around 3kg in a month (for a frail old lady) and is suffering from malnutrition. The last time I saw her a month ago, she was as fit as a fiddle!
It kills me inside to know that what has happened to her. It was a combination of factors that finally culmimated in her illness. My grandma is a frugal woman, who have lived through World War II and understood how painful and devastating is it to live in poverty. During the Japanese invasion, her family fled to the deep jungles of Malaysia and lived there for months, surviving on nothing but potatoes. Since then, she’ve been very cautious with her spending (although she don’t mind spending a lot on her kids and grandchildren).
She is currently living with my uncle’s family in Penang, and they run a sundry shop from their shoplot and when business is brisk, she doesn’t have the time to grab something to eat, so she settles for plain, white bread instead. Even if she decides to have some jam or butter to go along with her plain meal, she’d only spread a tiny bit on it to save money. The fact that is she have very supportive kids (my uncles) and there is no reason for her to actually overwork and undereat. She can have three meals a day on bread only, with little vitamin and nutrition supplements, and that’s why she suffered from malnutrition.
Grandpa is aging fast and he needs constant care and attention from my grandma. The last time he went to China, he was in such a blur that he could actually fall into an open drain in front of him. His eating habits are so bad (and he is really, really stubborn, believe me) that he gets diarrhea every other day if nobody watches his diet, and so my grandma diligently watches over his daily routine. But that means she’s staying up long hours taking care of him and the sundry shop, and without the aid of a domestic helper, she also does the daily chores of cleaning the house and the laundry as well, alongside with my aunt who lives with her.
It’s not that my aunt is not treating her well (my aunt is another amazing, strong lady – I’ll leave her sad tale for another post) but their financial condition doesn’t allow them to enjoy things that what we deem ‘normal, common and affordable’ in my country. My aunt has got to support my cousins’ university education which are very costly. My uncle is a entrepreneur with lots of great ideas, but lady luck isn’t by his side all the time and no matter how hard he tried, it’s hard to get customers and clients nowadays, especially during the hard times of the economy.
Although my uncle and mom constantly give grandma some pocket money, she refuses to use them – she’ll stash them in a box and will only take them out when she’s giving the money out to her grandchildren (that’s one reason why I feel bad for visiting her as she’ll persistently try to stuff a $50 bill in my pocket). It took us a great deal of time to convince that she needs a new dress, she deserves a new bag, she needs a new pair of shoes, she doesn’t have to feel guilty for buying earrings and etc. It saddens me that although she loves all of us, she’s neglecting her own welfare. As a grandma, she deserves way more than that.
She’ll be coming over to our home tomorrow (Thursday) for a short stay over the weekend to attend my aunt’s wedding, when we’ll pamper her and make sure that she knows how to eat well in the future :)
I suddenly realize how fragile is a human in the face of nature and death. Please, grandma, we don’t want to lose you so early. You’ve lived a hard life and it is now that you should be sitting back, relaxing and enjoying the company of your family *sobs*
Get well soon, grandma!
hoep that your grandma get well soon
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@KNizam: Thank you for your wishes!
Hi Terry. I will remember your grandma in my prayers. Please keep up updated on her status. Seems like everyone is sick these days. I’ve been coughing and seem to have spread the virus to my whole family -.- Anyway, about your grandma sacrificing for her children and grandchildren, I think it happens in a lot of Asian families. I think what we can do if they refuse to spend on themselves is to buy them things ;)
Take care.
@Jas: Thank you Jaz :) for the moment being, she’s doing fine with her medication and her heart palpitations are gone. She just arrived at Kuala Lumpur today and will be staying over at my aunt’s house (we’ll be visiting her today, woots!) and we will have her to stayover this weekend.
I hope you’re okay with your cough! I fell ill on the week before recess (which explains me lethargy and sluggishness) with a nasty cold and a fever, and 2 days of 8-hour sleep each fixed the problem… alongside with lots of water, heh. Try some Chinese herbal tea or something, I heard that they’re very helpful when it comes to treating coughs (chronic or not, it doesn’t matter). And don’t drink too much cold water!
Yea it’s quite common for grandparents to be very frugal to themselves and sometimes even their immediate family, but when it comes to their grandchildren they have no qualm doing anything that will make life better for them. I guess that’s partly because of their understanding and interpretation of life at their age, as well as their unconditional love towards grandchildren.
We always bring our grandparents out for good food when they’re staying over with us – and we hide the bills from them because they would frown and complain if they’d see those :P heh.
I’m sorry to hear that your grandma was admitted to the hospital. It sounds like you’re pretty close with your grandparents as well. I’m not too heavily close with my grandparents because they’re mainly from Vietnam and the language barrier is great, but I still care for my grandmas.
It definitely must be tough on your family right now, because your grandma probably has a huge impact on the family as well, but I hope that she’s going to get well soon!!
You’re right when we see how fragile life is… a lot of young people don’t care enough about their health to carry it through for the rest of their lives and then living with the pain afterwards and regret of not caring for themselves more. More so, when the elders are the ones who are getting admitted to the hospitals, we fear for the worst: death but it’s a cycle of life… I try to remind myself that so that when it is my time to pass, I am ready for it. Is that so emo?? Lol but I hope you are coping alright with it :) Try to spend some time with your grandparents! :)
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@Destiny: Oh, that’s because we’re quite close to my maternal’s side extended family since I was young. We paid frequent visits to Penang, somewhat 400km away from my home, to visit our maternal relatives each year. Not only are we close to our grandparents, but also to our uncle, aunts, granduncle, grandaunts and cousins. Sometimes we have distant relatives that are very nice to get along too. As a family friend commented, such ties are quite rare in the modern society – I’m proud of it and yet afraid that as the years move on, we will drift apart. My grandma and her sisters are the one glueing us together.
My grandma, being the eldest of all her siblings, takes good care of my granduncles and grandaunts, organize Chinese New Year celebrations and handles the schedule of greatgrandma’s care. My great grandmother is under the care of her four sons, and there was some disagreement over the schedule over the years and that probably caused quite a lot of misery and problem to my grandma as well. Ah, family politics.
A lot of people couldn’t be bothered with their health – more than 75% of teenagers suffer from sleep deprivation (I’m one of them), many of them don’t have regular eating schedules and some even skip breakfast totally. Some refuses to exercise, to change their eating habits and etc. When I see the state of my grandma, I am taught to take care of myself.
Death is just part of the journey of the soul in the cycle of life – it doesn’t mean the end. It’s just a process.
Thanks again for your concern!
Terry ,
I’m sorry to hear your grandma is in the hospital. It’s a stressful event for her, you, and your family. I hope she is doing better and enjoys her visit to your home. Getting people to change habits – especially related to food and eating – isn’t easy , but over time your family may persuade her to eat more. One suggestion is high energy/high protein bar atheletes use. They pack a lot of calories into a small quantity and might help someone who eats little. Peace ,Bob
@Bob: Yea, at first everyone was at shock because she is a very healthy person – she avoids sugary stuff, haven’t been eating anything sweet for ages, exercises, have a good social life (lots of friends and she’s a member of a local choir assemble) and etc. She would be the last candidate a disease, regardless of mental or physical, will pick on. But we’ve forgot about her other eating habits and her hectic lifestyle, the things that would put her at risk.
She enjoys visiting my home, as much as we love to have her around for a few weeks :) we have a few grandaunts around the town and so we’ll bring her to visit them. She enjoys window shopping too!
Thanks for the suggestion. I guess the protein bars are very good because they’re not sugary at all and are packed with proteins. Convincing her to try it is another problem though, since she’ve been eating typical Asian food for her entire life of 7+ decades and she refuses to eat anything expensive. I guess we’ll have to convince her that she deserves more love and care than anyone else.
Oh my. Having grandparents who are now starting to suffer from their advanced ages, I can understand the worry you feel. And I’m sorry. And I really do hope she gets better. And I agree with Bob–she’d probably do really well with protein bars. They’re a lot better than white bread, anyway. White bread’s just empty calories.
Oh, and I was going to also reply to your previous comment–I don’t actually us WP Gallery, but Fotobook, which is a nifty little widget that integrates my Facebook gallery within my website without me having to upload everything to it. I think they make one for Flickr as well, actually (though I’ve never bothered to look it up).
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@Natalija: Yea, it constantly worries me as they age. They are less energetic than before (my childhood years, they can actually chase me around the house). I have a great grandma who’s turning 100 in around 5~6 years, and her condition is worrying all of us also. I think aging is part of life, it’s just that we have to learn how to cope and deal with it appropriately and with empathy.
White bread is so not nutritious at all – and she’s running a sundry shop so she has no reason to munch on white bread only. She can always have whole-wheat ones. White bread is completely stripped of any nutrition and like what you’ve said, give only empty calories and nothing else.
We’re now suggesting that they move the kitchen from their second floor shophouse to the ground floor such that they won’t find eating a hassle, even during peak hours of business.
Oh, I thought you’re using the WP gallery because it looks so much like what is given in the WP installation. Fotobook sound really cool, and one good thing is that you don’t have to upload multiple copies of the same photo to Facebook and your blog at the same time :) brilliant idea!
Hey Terry,
So sorry to hear about your Grandma and I do hope that she’ll get better soon. When our grandparents reached a certain age, they need a lot of care and attention from us. As I’m living overseas, it’s always very hard for me when I found out that any one of my grandparents are not feeling well. That’s because I’ve no idea when I will see them again since I do not fly back to KL that often.
Since your Grandma is coming to stay with you soon, I hope that you’ll be able to treasure every single moment you spend with her :)
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@Michelle: She’s doing a lot better now, thanks for your concern. It scares me that my grandparents are getting older and they’re more easily tired and have less appetite for food. I am saddened that they are not their healthy selves in the past.
My parents make it very clear to me that when I’m studying in Singapore, they will not tell me what happened in our extended family because they didn’t want me to be worried. However, I think otherwise – by not updating me with the conditions of my grandparents, for example, will only make me furious and more worried :(
She arrived in town today, but she’ll be spending a night with her sister. We’ll be having her to stayover during this weekend :) yay!
Hope your grandma gets better soon. I’m sure she will get a speedy recovery with such a loving and caring family supporting her. :)
On a side note, I’ve a photo with the exact background taken at the same mall last Christmas in Kuala Lumper. ;)
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@Dayna: Thanks for your concern ;) we will make sure that she knows how to eat well from now on. She deserves more than just plain white bread – she should learn how to treat others AND herself well.
Oh wow, what a coincidence! I guess the decoration there is so nice that many people would have snapped photos there and so lots of people will have similar photos :P heh.
Hey T!
Hope you are feeling okay. Saw your post and had to comment on it. I really hope your granny gets better soon la.
Big supportive smile :)
Dakota
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@Dakota: Hey there! Long time no see. My grandma is feeling better by the minute, thanks for your concern :) how are you doing lately? I read that you’re heading back to French Polynesia… awesome!
Oh dear, Terry. =S I hope your grannie gets better soon, the same way I’m praying that this is but a minor health blip in the long run.
God bless.
@Eli James: Thanks for your concern. She’s feeling a lot better now, with proper medication and care. She’ll have to take medicine in the long run, but that’s ok if it keeps her thyroid problem at bay :)
Ohh I’m so sorry for this late response! I think Granny is recovering by now right? Send her some nutritious food yaa?
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Hey Terry…I hope your grandma get well soon enough too yah…I’ve seen her a few times before and she is indeed a nice lady…I am sure she is very glad to have a grand son like you too :) and that includes great children like your mom and father
Once again, I hope she’ll get well. Fingers crossed. She looks so happy in the photo with you. Thyroid problems are a bitch. :(
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@Mingyun: It’s okay! She’s fine now, in fact she arrived in KL yesterday to attend my aunt’s wedding. We paid her a visit yesterday and she’s back to her chatty self :) heh.
@med: Thanks! She’s recovering well, no worries. Awww, you’re such a tease! Not only us – my other uncles, aunts and cousins treat her well too! In fact, I feel bad that I couldn’t be living near her all the time (she lives in Penang).
@Iva: She’s making some good progress, the medication should do fine. Now we have to change her eating habits. Thyroid problems are a bitch, indeed! Thank God they can be controlled by medicines. I’m glad she’s back to her outgoing, cheerful and chatty self – just like the one you see in the photo.
gay! oh no i hoope your grandma gets well soon gay! tell me when u are back in ntu k? (:
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@Chongx: She’s doing well, thanks :) I’m already back! Got FOC main committee outing at Sentosa tomorrow. I hope it doesn’t rain!
owh. thats a sad story to hear. sigh, it good u realise u should be appreciating her before its too late.
i dont think i had the time to appreciate my grandparents, i was too young to know anything when they passed away.
anyhoo, get well soon =)
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