Hello there. I am Terry and I am a full-time undergraduate based in Singapore. I take photos, write a blog and design websites.

And no, I'm not a teddy bear.

Transition Period

Hi everybody. Don’t be worry about me, ok? Although I may appear quiet and alone, I am actually figuring out things myself. I am trying to dismiss the fact that I am experiencing serious and fatal emotional trauma and struggle, and desperately trying to catch a glimpse of the bright side of life.

Well, sorry to give my classmates a shock when I left the dance session halfway. Somebody commented that my dancing sucks, you know. Sort of broke my already shatterred heart, so it’s like double shatterred now. Maybe he / she doesn’t know that I didn’t go for last Tuesday’s dance session because I have to go for a medical checkup. He / she told me (I think he / she also didn’t want to cause harm too) that…

Terry ah, why you didn’t practise for the dance? You see others turned that direction and you’re still facing here…

At that time there was already lots of things running through my mind and the hard emotions were already building up behind a dam. Then his / her words acted like a hammer. Small, short inconspicuous but can cause a great deal of harm. It chipped off a samll piece from my emotional dam and  everything just came out. I was lucky enough to rush to the toilet before I broke down into tears.

I might sound stupid now. In fact I am stupid. I mean like no boys cry… so I am a cry baby. Nevermind, I’ve been used to be called like this since Sec 1. While spectators increased significantly around me to see the face of the crying baby, some people were cheering and jeering. Since then I got used to all of that.

After I had enough crying I went back to the class bench and got some rest. Eunice came and asked whether I am okay. I was so stupid I ran away and rushed back into the toilet, escaping from everyone I knew. Stupid isn’t it? Later in the evening I went up to the 4th floor to get some fresh air. Well, don’t worry I am not so stupid I will just jump down and put an end to my life. Commiting suicide is stupid and moronic and an incosiderate act.

On the 4th floor I try to see things positively, putting all the sad feelings behind. I felt much better… really! Much better ;)

Thanks to Minyi, Karin and Huiyi for your concerns :) Thanks!

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