Hello there. I am Terry and I am a full-time undergraduate based in Singapore. I take photos, write a blog and design websites.

And no, I'm not a teddy bear.

Missing Everything

Took a 11.00am bus today from KL, heading for Singapore. This marks the end of my mid-year holiday. 24 days slipped pass me without notice, and sometimes thinking back, I would blame myself for not treasuring the time I’ve spent at home.

People is like that. When they have plenty to enjoy, they won’t really treasure things around them, until when they find out that they can never enjoy them anymore, they’ll start to blame themselves.

Why am I so stupid?
Why didn’t I treasure the time I had?
Why didn’t I treasure the chance?
Why didn’t I spend more time noticing things around me?
Why didn’t I…

That applies to me too. The 4 hours jorney gave me lots of time, reflecting on what I’ve done for the past month. I did my revision. I did my homework (not really ALL, but MOST). I enjoyed mom’s homecook food. I enjoyed the time I can ride my bicycle, going round the neighbourhood, saying a big, warm, “Hello” to the people I knew. I went to Genting Highlands. I finally got the courage to get on the first inverting roller coaster. I finally got the courage to hop on Solero Space Shot. I…

Everything seemed to have just happend a split second ago. But now, to me, they are history to me. Precious, nice, but unreachable, untouchable anymore again. We can stop, we can walk, we can run, but time doesn’t wait for us.

Last night, the very last night of my homestay in KL (my brother too), he approached mom before turning in. He told them he didn’t really utilise the past month. He told them he didn’t do what he initially planned. Mom said nevermind. It is all up to ourselves, to think whether we’ve treasured our holidays or not.

I’m just thinking why I feel so empty after the holidays. I’ve completed my homework (most of them) and ready to hand in on the first day of school. I’ve done my revisions. I’ve enjoyed my holiday to the fullest. Maybe the reason why am I feeling so down right now is that I’m not anymore under the big umbrella of my cosy home.

Well, when birds grew older, their wings grow strong, they learn how to fly, they’ll eventually leave their parents, exploring the world. One very fine day everyone of us at my age will have to leave home, go aborad, do something that makes them be proud of themselves and also contributes to the welfare of mankind.

Argh, don’t know why I’m missing my home, my parents so much. Not really homesick, but sort of can’t bear to leave the beautiful holiday memories behind.

For the first time when blogging, I can’t help crying.

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