Stress Relievers!

After a day’s work / school, are you feeling very tired? Here are some stress relievers to relief the stress in you!

CAUTION: People with laugh-o-phobia, laugh-till-i-die-sickness and my-heart-stops-beating-when-i-laugh-syndrome should not read the stress relievers below.

Stress Reliever 1:
Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why ?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Stress Reliever 2:
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

Stress Reliever 3:
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

Stress Reliever 4:
Wife to husband: ” What’s your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?”
Husband to wife: ” Golfing with friends, my dear.”
Wife to husband: ” What ? At 2 am ? ”
Husband to wife: ” Yes, We used night clubs.”

Stress Reliever 5:
A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
“Honey,” the woman replied sweetly, “I’d have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE”

Stress Reliever 6:
Father to son after exam: ” Let me see your report card.”
Son: “My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”

Stress Reliever 7:
” How was your blind date ? ” a college student asked her roommate.
” Terrible ! ” the roommate answered. ” He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”
Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What ‘s so bad about that ? ”
“He was the original owner.”

Stress Reliever 8:
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word “beans”..
“My father grows beans,” said one student.
“My father cooks beans,” said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: “We are all human beans.”

Stress Reliever 9:
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? ”
Millionaire: ” I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: ” Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her ? ”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”

Stress Reliever 10:
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Stress Reliever 11:
A husband was asked: “Do you talk to your wife after sex?”
He replied: “Depends, if I can find a phone.”

Stress Reliever 12:
Man to wife on wedding night: “Are you sure I’m the first man you are sleeping with ? ”
Wife replied: ” Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others ! ”

Stress Reliever 13:
“Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?”
Answer: “Because people started licking the wrong side.”

Stress Reliever 14:
A wife asked her husband: “What do you like most in me – my pretty face or my sexy body?”
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humour.”

Stress Reliever 15:
Doctor to his lady patient: “You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?”
Lady replied: “Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.

Special thanks to: Yiee Wong